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" Joe said misty eyed."Me too. I let the guilt I felt from Emily's stroke eat me alive." She admitted."What happened?" was all Joe could ask her."After you left the hospital she was stable, but I was mad you had to leave, even though you had no choice. The next morning when I sat down with the neurologist and I fully explained what Emily's condition was before the stroke he dropped the bomb on me that I couldn't expect her to speak or run her wheelchair again. I could try therapy at a hospice and rehab. I spoke with her and the fear in her eyes ripped me in two. (starts crying softly while talking) She was so smart and intuitive and she couldn't express herself one bit, she couldn't even move her mouth to swallow. That Tuesday they put her in the hospice and rehab and I sat and spoke with her. She could blink her eyes, look left and right and that's about it. She started spelling to me with eye blinks. She told me she loved me, and she wanted to die. I hoped we could make some. Soon though it wasnt enough for me, I felt the need to go even further. At first I started walking back to my apartment holding my suit in one hand and towel in the other. I then added to the thrill, and began leaving my suit behind, taking just a towel just in case. I felt so depraved it was a huge turn on. I had been chatting on the phone with a girlfriend of mine, who also got off on exhibitionism (we did some wild things together, but thats another story). She challenged me, said until I went down to the pool with no towel or anything, I would never experience the real thrill. I told her Id think about it. So late one Sunday night (well I guess technically it was Monday morning) about 3 am I decided to do it. Of course Id taken a few shots of my aunts tequila to brace up my courage, LOL. I stripped bare, not even any jewelry or sandals. I tip toed down the stairs, I couldnt believe how hard my pink nipples were. I knew most everyone would be asleep, but I knew there was always.
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